2019

Hey guys it has been long to write here.

It’s another new year again. Happy 2019! The time now is 3.55am, except for experiencing my first insomnia of 2019 (too much caffeine intake today), other than that, everything is great :)

2018 wasn’t a great year to me, to be honest to myself, although I feel the need to congratulate myself on my graduation. I really do hope 2019 could be better, to not be too careful of what people would think about me, physically or emotionally, to improve my embedded value other than showing off the hardly surviving one. I have decided to not force myself on being someone others would love to talk to, but to be someone I truly love and respect, and whom I myself would want to be with every single day. Loving myself is always a tough thing to me. With too much expectations on myself, I tend to push myself harder and harder but the result isn’t on par with my effort. And slowly I found out that I always set a goal which is not realistic enough to achieve step by step. 我总想一步登天，所以强烈的压迫感老是让我喘不过气却又事倍功半。I have always wanted to be the perfect one, until I realize no one is perfect just yet.

I need to make myself fully aware of this, NO ONE IS PERFECT, but you can be who you would like to be, a person you yourself would want to be with. So in this brand new 2019, I wish I can be happier with myself, improvement is needed without sacrificing my happiness and health. Not going to make myself glorious, but I am sure the way to exploring myself will definitely be an enjoyable one.

Let’s not be perfect, let’s be real and don’t be afraid of trying and improving, shall we? :)
Cheers to a better year ahead!



Love,
Zi Yan